Beware! Be very ware!

I spent the weekend in Kuala Lumpur (KL), a place I’ve referred to as a “one day” city, for a third and fourth day. The motivation was to meet Tony (enroute back to SIN from a dive trip in Sipidan), who was in KL to meet his buddy Paulus (from Jakarta). Paulus travelled from Indonesia for a conference on palm oil, and a meeting in KL was their only chance for a reunion during Tony’s sojourn in Asia. Plus, for me, the KL Renaissance is a comfortable hotel, (relatively) inexpensive, and a change of scenery from my flat in Singapore.

KL is certainly grittier than Singapore, literally and figuratively. As for the latter, KL has a reputation as a party city despite dire warnings of death penalties for importing drugs (announced during approach to KL's airport), with lots of bars and nightclubs downtown. Plenty of backpackers and Singaporeans spend weekends there for cheaper booze, flops, and shopping. But there's also a wary tension in KL, a palpable one, since Malaysia is in the throes of (not so) creeping Islamization. Malaysia's population is just over half ethnic Malay (presumed by the Constitution to be monolithically Muslim) and just under half are other ethnic groups (mostly ethnic Chinese and Indian, hence dominantly Buddhist and Hindu). Although the current, highly publicized 1Malaysia PR campaign might lead outsiders to assume aspirations to unite disparate ethnic groups, in fact, the ethnic Malay (read Muslim) fraction benefits from sweeping benefits under "positive discrimination" that range from tax breaks to affirmative action and housing discounts (and the application of Shariah law). Malaysia's other ethnic groups are subject to civil laws that offer formal equal rights under the Constitution (but no equal benefits). However, religious law is more and more often applied, superseding civil rights. Malaysian policy is definitely an example of Mad Magazine's famous maxim "some are more equal than others."

I generally like Malaysian people I've met, I enjoy Malaysian cuisine, but KL is a city of both annoyance and contradiction, made starker by comparison to Singapore. Both are upstart cities, in that their post-colonial histories are not very long, both are multicultural (in their distinctive ways), each aspires to be the "go-to" city of the Malay peninsula. As a country, Malaysia dwarfs Singapore, whether population, square miles, natural resources, etc. But Singapore has it hands down over KL in terms of being a livable and efficient city, with a modern (and for the most part) uncorrupt government. If only the same could be said for KL.

On Saturday, the 2009 Budget of Malaysia was announced in the New Straits Times (the KL English language newspaper which featured the pictured headline, not to be confused with the Straits Times of Singapore), laying out strategies for Malaysia to become a UN-defined "high income country." Simultaneously, Islamists push for all education (including math and science) to be in the Bahasa Malaysian language.

It is no accident that Singapore is a world city. The risky political choice at its birth to use English as the language of commerce and administration established a lingua franca for all Singaporeans, costing every ethnic group something, but without any of the city-state's ethnic groups winning the language battles by imposing their own on others. Smart choice. Singapore leveraged that facility in English and hard work into its move from a third world to a first world city in just a few decades. Maybe life shouldn't be this way, but with globalization the major impetus to Malaysia's struggles to get closer to the top of the heap, how does mandating Bahasa position Malaysians and the industries they run to either cut the edge of technological innovation or to command the heights of the global economy? It makes sense only if the purpose of mandating Bahasa is to ensure continued Islamic dominance of Malaysian politics and policy. I wonder how the tension between 21st century Malaysia and its desire to be a player on the world stage and conservative forces eventually plays out. From what I see and read, I'm not optimistic that forces of modernization are poised to win.

Anyway, serious thoughts about politics aside, there’s more than a bit of sibling rivalry between these two large cities. They squabble about whether CHICKEN RICE is rightfully claimed as Singaporean or Malaysian cuisine. Singaporeans accuse Malaysians of being corrupt and lazy, Malaysians accuse Singaporeans of being authoritarian copycats using stereotypes that obfuscate more than they illuminate. However, the cross-town rivalry certainly spawns interesting T-shirts. Singapore is labeled SINGLEBORE, testament to its tamer, more tightly-wound and uptight image, chewing gum (which is illegal to import) apparently inspires sex. The incongruity of slamming Singapore where unmarried couples risk being jailed by the religious police squads if they sit too close together in a public place is considerable. KLers also poke fun at censorship in Singapore, where criticizing the government is frowned upon and seldom occurs. But irony is surely not a cultural strong suit in southeast Asia. Where else could merchants in one place accuse another of censorship, while living with the reality that even a whisper of criticism of Islamization in KL brings risk of political persecution and death threats from the more militant types?

Despite having (too) many unmet deadlines, I procrastinated creatively in KL by wandering around the Central Market for an hour, searching for gifts to bring home. Since Singapore's retail scene is dominated by western goods, there's little unique here—I’d be just as likely to find the same stuff (cheaper) at the Boulevard Mall! So looking for handcrafted items in KL seemed like a better choice for distinctive items. I exchanged Singapore dollars for Malaysian ringgit, thinking I'd buy some pewter or batik at the market.

Walking from the hotel to the subway in KL provided another stark reminder of how different the two cities are. "You can't get there from here" should be the motto for KL, versus "You can get everywhere from here" for Singapore. In KL, nothing is quite finished. The distance between the curb and road at a pedestrian crosswalk can mean a step down (or up) of nearly two feet, not wonderful for the sore of knee! Drains run under the sidewalks--and grates don't always bridge the drainage holes. Tile pavers are missing from sidewalks, potholed asphalt substitutes for concrete in some areas. Trees interrupt sidewalks, leaving no room to circumvent them without stepping into the street. The walk from a five star hotel in a neighborhood of five star hotels, covering the two blocks between a monorail station, multiple busstops, and the subway, is the equivalent of a trash-strewn obstacle course. There's simply no way to stroll in KL. Cannot be done. Pedestrianism is NOT for the faint of heart--carefully observing the next foothold, and placing feet on concrete rather than other squishy substances, is the only way to stay upright. Walking is a contact sport! Subway and monorail lines do not link at interchanges, sidewalks deadend at expressways that are impossible to cross. You can't get there from here. Again, irony escapes the KLers.

The subway ride to the Central Market was only two stops, from Dang Wangi station by the hotel to Pasar Seni and cost about 40 cents each way (just 1.3 ringgits). There were lots of touristy items, including some beautiful saris, sarongs, silver and pottery. But I wasn't in the mood to barter, I just looked. I marvelled at the Cute Fish Spa, a teeming fish tank surrounded by wooden benches, where for a few ringgits one could sit and let fish nibble dead skin off of feet for ten minutes. "No teeth" the spa guy assures me. I wonder "do they suck the skin off?" Definitely not for me, a nibbly pedicure in a public place. I prefer fish I see through a scuba mask, or better yet, surrounded by french fries and cole slaw.

So I looked at batiks until they all started to look alike, took some snap shots of t-shirts, and had a kopi at the Old Time Coffee shop. And sometime, in that saunter around the market, I had my pocket picked. Beware. Be very ware.
A very helpful man at the subway stop put his hand on my purse and told me to be careful when I stepped on the street, that guys riding by on motorcycles were often thieves who would try to snatch my bag. A couple of kids swarmed me when I was taking pictures of t-shirts, saying "take me, take me". I was jostled when I paid for my coffee, the market was crowded. But for the life of me, I don't know when the money disappeared. Good thing I wasn't in a shopping frame of mind, since at some point I had nothing to shop with! I also realize that although it was hard to lose 150 ringgits (around $50) with nothing to show for them, I was REALLY lucky that the booty did not include my passport, Singapore ID card, ATM or credit cards.

KL was bad enough, but not horrible. Unlucky but lucky. Ambivalent...that's how I feel about KL. Truly, I'm happy enough to be back "home" in Singlebore, with only 47 days left until I go back to Buffalo. But who's counting?